


New Found Grace

by StarlightFromTheSea



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 16:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4399310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightFromTheSea/pseuds/StarlightFromTheSea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A dual-perspective story featuring a human Castiel who is figuring out his new human emotions. Dean seems to be figuring out his emotions too, because the friendship turns. And everyone expected it but Dean. And Kevin Tran. This story takes place towards the start of Season 9.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Found Grace

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in the beginning of Season 9, with human Cas

Dean turned the key to shut down the car’s engine and just listened to the sounds of the night. In her 46 years, the Impala had seen Dean and his brother, Sam, go through it all. Laughter, hardships, deaths of loved ones. Hell, the brothers had died themselves a few more times than the average person might. Dean glanced out the window at Cas, Sam, and Kevin sitting outside the bunker looking at the stars. (Sure, they were enjoying the moment, but Dean had the key to the Men of Letters’ bunker—their home). He looked at Cas like he was staring through him. His angel was an average person now. Cas saw Dean looking at him through the car window and smiled. Yep, Dean thought to himself, it was totally worth bringing him here.  
The oldest surviving Winchester heaved a breath before opening the car door and letting his brothers in. After all, they were all a family. All each other had. Dean put a hand on Cas’ shoulder before crossing to open the door. Brothers, he told himself.

“Dean.”  
He turned around, to see Kevin sitting across the table from him, looking disappointed. “Helping us research would be nice.” Dean had fallen asleep on the book he was supposed to be reading.  
“Right,” he said, mouth curling up into his nodding face grin, “Putting the angels back in heaven.”  
He noticed moments later that Kevin was the only one seated with him, “Where are Sam and Cas?”  
“Sam went to get food and stuff and Cas is… well I don’t really know.”  
Dean cleared his throat a little, “You let Cas…fragile, first-time human Cas…disappear.”  
“You snooze you lose,” Kevin snorted and got back to his books and guzzling caffeine.  
“Yeah. Well Kev, hate to leave you alone with this research, but I’m gonna go find our ‘Angels’ Most Wanted’.”  
Kevin was new to the whole “watching Dean and Castiel interact” thing so he’s probably the only person that would have gaped the way he did when Dean stood up to go find the ex-angel.  
The first place to check is obviously the kitchen. Cas was certainly breaking in his new human appetite well. After the whole “homeless, no food” ordeal, that is.  
“Cas.” Dean found him sitting up against the refrigerator.  
“Hello Dean,” Cas said through a mouthful of beef jerky. “This is very good, Dean. More jerky.”  
Dean laughed and sat down next to him. Taking a piece of jerky he asked, “Why are you in here anyways?”  
Cas swallowed hard and paused a moment before staring into Dean’s eyes like he’s always done; trying to read him. He shook his head, looking away as he spoke, “All those books about angels. I could not stop thinking about how I had let them all down time and time again. This is my fault that they’re here.”  
“Hey, man, it’s okay. You don’t have to…”  
“Dean, I’ve let you down so many times. The Leviathans. Purgatory. Each time, I knew I did not deserve to be your friend anymore. Now here you are, trying to get me out of another mess that I have caused.”  
Cas turned his head towards Dean and hesitantly shifted his eyes up to meet the pair of green ones that were always windows to so much pain. Dean grabbed Cas’ hand, “Hey. We’re family. Remember? And family gets family out of tough crap like this.” He squeezed Cas’ hand in a way that was meant to be reassuring but something in Dean broke. When Cas squeezed back, Dean noticed how close he was sitting. How their knees touch and their heads were so close that he could feel Cas’ ragged breath. He realized his gesture had been more caressing than reassuring. And he realized it was accidental. And he realized Cas was all too aware of how their knees touched and Dean’s nervous, uneven breath and probably even his now racing heartbeat. 

*

Cas held on to Dean despite the fact that Dean was clearly uncomfortable for two reasons. One, it wasn’t Cas that made Dean uncomfortable, it was Dean that made Dean uncomfortable. And two, in Cas’ eyes nothing was different here. The only change is that now Dean saw it too.  
Green eyes and freckles and his smile had lingered in the back of his mind for as long as Cas could remember. But for Dean, everything has changed. And Cas was willing to respect that. So, upon noticing that a significant amount of silence had exchanged between the two, Cas decided to put Dean a little more at ease.  
“Dean.”  
Dean quickly let go and stood up. He could see the twitch in Dean’s hand as he was about to reach down to help Cas up, but instead decided to keep his hands to himself.  
“Dean. Stop.”  
“What? Cas, I did. I don’t know what you’re talking about I…”  
Castiel stood up and stepped into Dean’s personal space once more, “Stop getting defensive.”  
Dean put a hand to his face, covering his nose and chin as he pulled on his mouth like he did when he was stressed. While this was not one of Castiel’s favorite Dean gestures (it always meant bad things), it was one of those things that Cas couldn’t help but to watch.  
“Cas, there’s nothing to be defensive about.”  
“Then why are you doing it?”  
Dean stopped pacing and stared at Cas with his hands to his sides. Maybe Castiel was wrong, maybe Dean did see things differently than he did. But he had to take a chance, for once he wouldn’t worry about what would happen if he wasn’t well received. He grabbed Dean’s hand.  
However, Cas quickly felt nervous about what Dean would think. He would have to play naïve. “Do you like this hand better, Dean?”  
He thanked God that Dean laughed a little and said, “No, I think they’re both cool, Cas.”  
So Cas had to take another tiny chance and gave Dean his other hand. 

*

Cas’ hands are so warm, he thought. Dean’s brain couldn’t function enough to think of anything else. The hunter was so confused. While he found women very attractive, he had never felt about a woman this way. With women, sex was always on the forefront of his mind. Even with Lisa; he loved her but never felt like this. A profound bond is what Cas had once called it. And that’s what it felt like.  
Dean’s subconscious couldn’t stop planting thoughts in his mind about how nice Cas’ lips must be and how holding a whole Castiel must be much better than holding only two hands.  
Dean, without thinking, leaning forward and pressed his forehead to Cas’. “We should get back to researching,” he whispered.  
Cas nodded and subsequently Dean nodded too. Cas refused to let go of one of the hands as he led a muddle-minded Dean out of the kitchen.

*

“I’m telling you, Dean,” Sam laughed, “there’s no way that fight one yourself.”  
Dean smiled, “Tell that to the rugaru!”  
Cas looked up from staring down at his hands in his lap and turned his eyes to Dean beside him, “But the rugaru is dead, Dean.”  
“You’re telling me!” He reached out and put a hand on Cas’ knee.  
Dean didn’t notice, but Cas saw Sam’s tiny smile at Dean’s hand. He thought to himself, This is good. Hopefully the support of his family will make him more comfortable.  
Sam looked over at Kevin to see him curled up, asleep on the couch. “Well,” he began, “looks like there won’t be any more research tonight without our prophet. He needed some rest anyways.”  
“We could rent a movie,” Dean suggested.  
Sam stood up, “Oh, that reminds me! I picked up the Lord of the Rings Trilogy DVDs while I was at the store the other day. They were cheap so I figured we might have a movie night some time.” He headed towards the closet where they stored all of their domestic items.  
“Kay, Frodo,” Dean said to Cas with a smirk-smile, “movie time.”

*

Okay, Dean, make a move. You’ve done it a hundred times. All those movie dates in high school. Sarah Carson. Liz Conway. Cara Summers. You can do this. He heaved a sigh. Yep and fake yawn. And stretch. And there’s the arm around the shoulder.  
It was funny because it wasn’t like Dean was making the move on Cas for Cas. It seemed as if he knew more about Dean than Dean did. So if Cas already knew, was Dean nervous because Sam was there? Sam wasn’t even paying attention…and yet…  
“I don’t get it,” Cas said, “If the ring is so corruptive, why don’t they just put it in a hex box?”  
“Because, Gandalf,” Dean replied with another character pet name, “they don’t have hex boxes in Gondor.”  
Dean glanced back at Sam but Sam had already seen. And he was…smiling? Did everyone but Dean know what was going on?  
Towards the end, Dean noticed that Cas had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Precious angel can’t control his new human sleepiness, he thought.  
And he couldn’t help it. Something in him. Some force of habit or urge from some other part of his brain had his kips pressing a kiss into Cas’ temple. And it was nice watching himself kiss the sleeping baby Cas in his arms.  
“Man,” Dean said to his brother, “I haven’t seen that movie in years. I forgot how freaking awesome it was.”  
“Yeah it’s pretty awesome.” Sam paused and laughed a little, “Did you ever get the idea that Frodo and his buddy Sam were more than just best friends? I always thought that.”  
Dean shifted a little uncomfortably beside Cas but didn’t surrender his position because it was already too late and besides, he didn’t want to wake Cas up.  
“Well it’s possible that they were friends and then, maybe, they saw something more” he made sure to keep his eyes steadily on Sam, “Maybe everything just changed for them.”  
“Dean,” Sam looked sincere and his forehead near his one eyebrow wrinkled to show it, “I’m happy for you. I really am.”  
“Sam,” Dean exhaled in a sigh, “I’m not really ready to talk about this. So, if you wouldn’t mind, could you keep your happiness to yourself for a little while?”  
Sam nodded, considering this. “Yeah, okay. Of course. I’m gonna try to get some sleep. Good night.”  
If Kevin hadn’t fallen asleep on the other room’s couch, Dean might have considered leaving Cas to sleep and heading back to his room. But since they were alone, Dean decided maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to spend a night in the living room.  
As he leaned into a lying position, Cas came down with him. He was on top of him and it was a little uncomfortable, but Cas nuzzled into his neck and somehow all was right with the world for just this moment.

*

Castiel woke up slowly, so he wasn’t surprised to find himself on the couch with Dean. He had dreamt of the smell of him all night. Dean has one of those smells that you can’t quite pinpoint until you sit in the Impala and realize, Yes. This is the smell of Dean Winchester. And then every time he passes you or is even in the same room as you, you can’t help but notice the scent.  
Though Cas was awake, he didn’t really want to move away from Dean smell. And he couldn’t really. Looking at Dean’s watch, it was 5:17. The rest of them wouldn’t be up for another few hours. So Cas justified breathing in the scent once more and closing his eyes to go back to sleep.  
When he finally woke up again, Dean was gone.  
He was approaching the library where everyone was probably researching when he heard his name.  
“Yeah, about Cas,” Sam was saying. “You just left him on that couch without a blanket? It gets freezing in there. I would think you’d take better care of your boyfriend,” Sam was teasing, but Cas liked the way he said the last part effortlessly.  
“Sam, stop. I told you I wasn’t ready.” He huffed loudly and Cas presumed he was shaking his head. “And besides, it was warm enough last night.”  
Cas peeked around the corner and saw Dean blushing, clearly not meaning to share what he just did. He decided it was time to make his entrance.  
“Good morning,” Castiel said with a single nod.  
“Hey, Cas,” Sam greeted, “Did you sleep well?”  
“Don’t worry, Sam. Dean is very warm.”  
Dean covered his blush poorly because he was very clearly looking away.  
Cas took the liberty of occupying the seat next to Dean and wrapping his arm around his waist; leaning into him. This seemed to help Dean melt into a state of ease.  
“Hey Dean, you know how bisexuals like two genders?” Sam asked. Dean glared at him. “Does that make you piesexual?”  
Cas laughed and turned to Dean. “It’s funny because you like pie so much,” he told him.  
Dean smiled, just for Cas, “I get it, thanks.”

*

Kevin Tran, bless his soul, didn’t see it coming when he woke up. Dean had finally gotten comfortable being publicly (well, public to Sam) twined with Cas until Kevin joined the party.  
“If I had known we’d get so friendly while researching I would have put deodorant on.”  
Dean kissed Cas’s ear. He wasn’t sure if it was because of Kevin or despite him, but the prophet got the memo very quickly.  
“I think I found something,” Cas sat upright and pointed to a spot in the book he was looking at.  
“Mhmm,” Dean hummed, closing his eyes.  
“Dean. Look.”  
Dean slung his arm around Cas’ shoulders and looked down at the book in front of him. Kevin was still eyeing them weirdly from the other side of the table.  
“Do you think this will actually work?” Dean asked him.  
“It’ll be worth a shot,” Cas replied. Dean felt the way it rumbled: like precious thunder just for him.  
“Cas, keep reading that book. See what we’ll need. Dean and I will be out getting breakfast. Call us if we should pick something up while we’re out.” Sam began putting on his jacket. “C’mon, lover boy.”  
Dean groaned and placed a goodbye kiss on Cas’ cheek before standing up to go with his brother.  
Once they were out of the bunker, Dean felt some relief. He could now yell at Sam, if he had to, without feeling guilty. He closed the car door.  
“Dean, you have to talk about it eventually.”  
“Not really.”  
“Have you even talked about it with Cas?”  
“Not really.”  
“Do you think you should do that?”  
“Not really,” Dean replied once more.  
“Dean, this has been coming for years. I expected it. Cas expected it. Just talk to him.”  
Dean shook his head, “Anything I could say to him he already knows.”  
“You’d be surprised,” Sam told him, “Sometimes a little affirmation can mean a lot.”  
“Yeah okay, Sammy. Whatever you say.”  
“I mean it. And I also mean it when I say I’m surprised it took this long.”  
Dean stayed silent for a few moments. His hands rested comfortably on the steering wheel but the rest of him was frozen. “I was scared, Sam. I’m not gay. But Cas is… I love him, Sammy. I love him in a way I’ve never felt for any girl before.”  
“Dean, it’s okay. For once in your life, let go of labels and just listen to your feelings.”  
“Dude, you’re emasculating me even more right now.”  
“Just be happy. That’s all I’m saying.”

*

Cas sifted through the book where he found the potential reversal spell. Waiting for Dean was making him grow impatient. They would have to talk when he got back. But what could he say? Dean, I love you and would like to be your partner, if that’s alright. Too forward.  
The door opened and in walked the most imperfect man on the planet. He had countless scars in every way possible. He could never see his own true value. He was a ticking time bomb for self-destruction.  
But many of his imperfections were what made him lovable. His willingness to sacrifice himself for Sam. His stubbornness. His devoted will to his job and saving people. His humanity at its core. Dean Winchester was a diamond in the rough, but a diamond no less.  
“Hey, Cas,” he said as soon as their eyes met, “we need to talk.”  
“I was just about to ask you to speak with me,” Cas told him with his signature lop-sided grin.  
“Come on,” Dean offered him a hand and he graciously accepted it.  
Together they walked to the kitchen. This had been where Dean first shown Cas his feelings last night—a lifetime ago.  
Dean looked up at him with a sly smile that was usually reserved for the women he seduced. “Castiel Steve Clarence Winchester,” Cas’ heart thumped at the addition of Winchester, “I expect you to be looking spectacular when I pick you up at your room tonight at 7 to take you out to dinner.”  
Cas wanted to find words but he was not good with words. Or human emotion. Or this feeling that he had right now. The feeling that made him want to pull Dean’s face in to a sloppy kiss.  
And Cas caved and did just that. He reached up and grabbed Dean’s face to kiss him in a way that he had first learned from a pizza man one evening when everything was simple in the world. Dean’s experience made up for Castiel’s lack of. Dean slowed things down and pressed a hand to Cas’ face, holding him steady. This was good, because Cas was shaking quite a bit. Dean covered it well, but Cas could feel his hunter shaking too.  
“I hope you kiss me like this while we’re on our date,” Cas requested earnestly.  
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

*

Dean was wearing one of the suits he normally wore when he was playing an FBI agent. It didn’t matter though, as long as he looked nice for his date.  
And he was gonna take Cas to a nice restaurant. Not their usual diner with burgers. Cas deserved that best and he was gonna flipping get it.  
When Dean finally raised his hand to knock at Castiel’s door, he wasn’t hesitant like he imagined he would be. He wasn’t nervous. He wasn’t scared. He was ecstatic. This was Cas. Same, lovable Cas. Except now both lovable and HIS.  
And angels above, when he opened the door, he looked stunning. 

*

He looked so happy. Cas beamed at the fact that Dean was now outwardly comfortable with their relationship.  
Dean took a peak into his room. “Hmm. Not much to it is there?”  
“I have not decorated like you have.”  
Dean smiled and stepped forward to wrap his arms around Castiel. “Guess you’ll have to move into my room then.”  
“Dean, I…” he smiled, “I would love to.”  
“Good. Because there’s no point in my boyfriend being in a room all the way down the hall from me.”  
Cas cupped his hands around Dean’s face and pulled it down to him, kissing the lips that had just spoken the words that made him so painfully happy. He smiled against Dean’s lips and whispered, “Boyfriend.”

*

Sam and Kevin were working on ancient translations when Dean and Cas showed up in the study to say goodnight and head to the car.  
“Have fun, guys,” Sam waved, “Don’t drink too much. Use protection. Don’t talk to strangers.”  
“Sam,” Dean warned, “I think we’re good.”  
Dean linked arms with his date as they escorted each other to the door.  
The restaurant wasn’t far from home, maybe 10 miles away. They spent the whole ride talking and laughing and Dean thought to himself that he was only 15 minutes into the date (and they had only been driving and talking), but it was already the best night of his life.  
The evening’s conversation fortunately steered clear of the current problems that they were facing with saving the world and all.  
It was leading up to the moment. Dean had promised Cas that he would kiss him while on their date. He fully intended on keeping this promise. After leaving the restaurant parking lot, Dean pulled into an empty field and told Cas to lean against the hood with him to watch the stars.  
“This is beautiful, Dean.”  
It was only a few moments before Cas shook his head and begged Dean to take him home.  
“What’s going on?” Dean asked him.  
“Heaven is so empty. It’s just stars. No angels. No God. Nothing.”  
Dean grabbed his former-angel’s hand, “We will fix it. It’s not your fault.”

*

Cas had moved his few belongings into Dean’s room and was prepping to spend the night.  
Dean laughed, “I bet this memory foam will be a lot more comfortable than that couch.”  
“What will it remember?” he asked.  
Dean approached Castiel to hug him tightly and with purpose. It wasn’t a romantic or a sexual gesture. But it meant so much.  
“It’ll remember how I slept alone when all this time I really should’ve had an angel beside me to hold my hand while I slept.” Dean held onto Cas’s hands while he kissed his neck with a tenderness and devotion that said every word Dean was lacking.  
Castiel ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair and gave Dean kisses of his own on his nose and his forehead and the corner of his mouth. Cas made sure that, when they finally fell asleep, that it was with laced fingers.

*

When Dean finally woke up, Cas was staring into him with eyes that had a new warmth to them. The angel (yes, he was an angel in all ways that mattered) was running his fingers along Dean’s spine.  
“Ever since I lost my grace,” he began to say through the darkness, “I had been feeling empty. But with you, I forget that I’m a broken angel who’s made far too many mistakes. I guess you are my new grace, Dean Winchester. And I love you for it.”  
And the sun rose that morning for no other reason than the fact that the noble, stoic man who had never addressed his feelings for anyone whispered back, “And you’re my grace, Cas. I love you.”


End file.
